Forgetting Edward
by LinzBrown06
Summary: Edward leaves Bella after her almost fatal 18th birthday. Bella is heartbroken but realizes she must try to move on. But can she? What suprises does she discover along the way? Bella/Edward NM alternative ending
1. Ch 1 Making Lemonade

Chapter 1

Bella POV

Time passed with an unchanging character after the night I was found laying lifeless on the forest floor. Was it hours, days or weeks since that fateful day? I didn't know and to be honest I really didn't care. The only evidence that time _was _passing was the steady cycle of the sun rising and falling out my bay window. I stayed in my bed unresponsive to the world around me. I liked it here. I felt blissfully numb. I didn't want to feel right now because I knew it would tear me apart. Renee "woke" me from my trance as she literally packed my bags for Florida. I threw a tantrum that would put any two-year old to shame. I was staying in Forks!

After Renee's "visit", I knew I had to get out of bed and try to have something of a normal life. I had to make an effort. If I didn't Renee and Charlie were probably going to me put in a hospital. People already thought that I had gone off the deep end and I didn't need to add any proof to their rumors. So, I got up and took a shower for the first time since that night. The following day was the beginning of my act of normalcy. I got up, went to school, went to work, came home, made dinner, did my homework and went to sleep. Each month faded into another. September turned to October and before long I realized Thanksgiving and Christmas had come and gone. I had become a robot surviving on autopilot. I know I should have tried better, but at the time it was the best I could do. I was literally heartbroken. It felt like Ed… _he _took my heart when he left. Sometimes when an unexpected reminder of him snuck past my robotic defense, I would literally have to hold myself together. The pain would start at the whole in my chest and radiate outward to consume and devour my whole body. Soon I realized my opinion of a normal life was still upsetting Charlie. After a particular vivid nightmare that had me screaming in my sleep, Charlie tried his best to talk to me.

"Bells, honey wake up" Charlie said as he shook me awake from my awful dream. I woke up gasping and sobbing at the same time.

"You ok?" He asked with so much concern in his voice that it almost made me break down and sob harder. It took me a minute to collect myself enough to answer him.

"Yea Ch…dad" I lied.

"Bells this isn't working. It's been months." He said. "Maybe if you…" I cut him off.

"No dad… I'm fine. I don't want to go to Florida." I said defensively. He didn't say anything right away but I could tell he wanted to say something else. I knew I probably wouldn't like what he had to say.

"You know he's not coming back." He delicately said. I knew he wasn't coming back, he had told me so, but it still hurt hearing someone say it outloud.

"I know." I said with tears in eyes and a whimper in my voice.

After Charlie knew I was ok, he silently excused himself. I had been so deep in thought over his words that I didn't even realize he had moved from his knelled position by my bed. The click of my bedroom door was what caught my attention. I was glad Charlie didn't linger. I needed time think… really think. I don't know how long I sat up in my bed staring out my window, the very window that he would come through at night to watch me sleep. I realized that I really needed to get on with my life. This was hurting Charlie to watch me waste away from this heartbreak and become a lifeless form of his once happy daughter. I knew I would always love Ed… Edward (sigh) and there would be reminders of him throughout my life, but I didn't need to let it consume me. I thought to some of his last words he said to me. _It will be as if I never existed. _ Huh…yea right! My window was a perfect example to prove him wrong. Thinking of him wasn't pleasant and caused a great deal of pain, but this was a step that I needed to take to move forward. What is the saying everyone says… "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade". I needed to do something with my life, turn off the auto pilot and take the wheel. I turned to look at my bedside where my alarm clock sat. It was 6:27am on Saturday morning. I knew actually what I needed to do.


	2. Ch 2 Moving Foward

Chapter 2

Bella POV

I heard Charlie's footsteps as he made his way down the hardwood stairs. I could tell from his hesitant steps that he knew I was up but unsure of what was going on. He finally reached the bottom of the steps which I thought he would never reach at the pace he was walking. He slowly and uncertainly turned from the stairway and peered into the kitchen where I was preparing breakfast.

"Good morning Dad." I said as I poured the scrambled eggs into the pan. I didn't look up from stove but I could tell he was shocked speechless.

"I thought I would make us some breakfast". I looked at him and smiled. Charlie was surprised by my sudden change in behavior. Before he could ask the question that I know he was thinking I answered him.

"You were right Dad. As much as it hurts, Ed…Edward is not coming back and I need to move on with my life." I said confidently. Unknowingly to Charlie I had been rehearsing that in my head for over an hour.

"Well Bells, I am glad you are trying. It has been really hard to watch you these past few months." He willingly admitted. I returned my attention to the eggs because I didn't know if I could look Charlie in the eye without getting overly emotional. I felt horrible for hurting Charlie and wished more than anything that I could have spared Charlie's feelings during my zombie period.

"I am really sorry Dad." I said in almost a whisper. When Charlie didn't answer I thought that he might have not heard me. I was about to restate my apology when he cleared his throat and ask when breakfast would be done. I knew this was Charlie's escape to an over emotional conversation. It made me laugh a little. Charlie didn't do the whole cry your my shoulder thing very well. I informed him breakfast would be ready in about fifteen minutes, and he excused himself into the living room to wait.

Moving forward was not an easy thing to accomplish. I still had nightmares of Edward leaving me in the woods and they would leave me screaming and sobbing uncontrollably in my bed. The smallest reminder of him would hurt so much that I wanted a one way ticket back to zombie land. One night while studying for my English final, I came to a page in my notes that had _EDWARD _doodled at the top of my page. I was so overwhelmed by that innocent and long forgotten scribble; I quickly ripped the page from my notes as to promise myself I would never see it again. I was willing to miss those questions as long as I didn't have to look at it again . I dealt with these setbacks as needed and continued my path to getting over Edward Cullen.

I graduated from Forks High School and worked my summer at Newton's Outfitters. Quicker than I thought, my summer was over and I was packing to leave for college. When I was applying to colleges I was subconsciously picking colleges in cities like Forks. I didn't even realize I was doing it till Charlie brought it to my attention. I was sitting at the kitchen table one Sunday afternoon buried neck deep in applications when Charlie came in to grab some lunch. I didn't even realize he was standing behind me until he spoke.

"If you're going to miss Forks so much Bells, you should just live at home and go to a local college." He suggested as he looked over my shoulder as I began to fill in my name on another college application.

"Why do you say that, Dad?" I questioned him without removing my attention from my paper.

"Well all the colleges you're applying to seem to reside in cities like Forks. Ha! Never thought I would see the day you willingly gave up the sun. " He informed me.

His answer caught my attention, and I stopped and looked at all applications spread out on the kitchen table. He was right. I was subconsciously choosing college in cities suitable for vampires. I told Charlie it was an unintentional coincidence and blew it off as nothing. Later that night while in the privacy of my bedroom, I threw away every single one of those applications. I had to prove to myself that I was not trying to "find" Edward. So, I frantically looked for the Flordia application that my mother had sent me. At the time I dismissed it as one of her attempts to get me to move back "home". Maybe that is where I needed to be.

I hated to leave Charlie all alone. I was very troubled over how he planned on nourishing himself, as I did all the cooking since my arrival, and prayed that he didn't burn the house down in his attempts. But I had to do this. It was one of the major steps in my attempt to move forward, leaving Forks. Forks was the place we met and I fell in love with him. It was also the place where my heart was broken and stolen from me. There were many good memories here but at the same time so many bad ones followed. I needed a fresh start in a new place if I was truly going to move on with my life.

Charlie and I said our goodbyes that morning. Once again his words were short and sweet but behind those few words was so much love. I held my tears till I was safely out of sight from Charlie. I had so many reasons for crying as I boarded the plane, but mostly I cried for leaving Charlie. If I didn't need to separate myself from Forks, I would have probably taken him up on his offer to let me stay. The flight was long and I was greatly relieved when the plane landed. As I exited the plane, I prepared myself for my mother's excitement to have me "home". As soon as I saw her I dropped my carry on and ran into her waiting arms. Tears flowed freely down my cheeks as I tightly embraced my mother at our overdue reunion. I had been so ugly and childish towards her when she came during my zombie period. I wanted nothing more than to express my apology and love to her threw my actions. After the waterworks stopped, we gathered my luggage and headed home. As we exited the airport, my eyes caught sight of a silver car and I gasped.


	3. Ch 3 New Start

Apparently Phil's baseball career had taken off because sitting outside the airport was a silver Ford Focus with a big sign that read, "Welcome Home Bella". The first thought that creep its way into my head was how this car reminded me of Edward's shiny silver Volvo. So therefore, this car would always remind me of Edward. I felt panic stick its ugly head up as I struggled to push it back down. I smiled to hide my grief and hoped Renee did not notice my moment of distress. I immediately told my mother that this car was too much.

"Mom this must have cost a lot of money… I don't think I can accept it." I told her.

"Nonsense, Phil and I wanted to get you a car. Consider it a late graduation present and a welcome home present all wrapped in one." She said as she smiled and threw me the keys to the car and walked around to the passenger door. I loved my mother.

After only a few too short days with mom, I had my new car loaded down with all my belongings and was driving towards the college campus and my fresh start. I really wanted to spend more time with her. I didn't realize how much I truly missed my unpredictable, scatterbrained mother, but I really needed to get settled into my student housing before school started. The college was close enough to Renee and Phil that I could easily visit but far enough away that I didn't have to worry about unexpected visits from her.

The first few days of my new college life were hectic. Between adjusting my school schedule, finding my classes, and attending all mandatory orientation meetings, I was exhausted. But I soon fell right into place with college life. My classes were great and my crappy student apartment was perfect. It was easier here because there were very few reminders of Edward. I finally felt like I could hold my head above water. Unlike in Forks, it felt like a constant struggle to keep from drowning in painful memories.

I met Amy in one of my classes and we instantly became friends. She was a sophomore and she was telling me about everything I, a freshman or a "newbie" as Amy called me, needed to know about college.

"I can't believe you didn't know where the student center was. How did you survive two weeks here without it? It has _everything_ like the food court, coffee shops, wireless internet, student mailboxes, and lounges to watch the only available cable on campus. You are so lucky you found me…." She rambled on but I didn't hear the rest. I started tuning her out as I thought of how much she reminded me of Alice. Oh Alice. Tears stared to form in my eyes. I was so wrapped up in missing Edward I forgot about my best friend Alice. Amy must have noticed my lack of attention and my change in behavior.

"Bella, Bella are you even listening to me?" She asked. After a few moments she must have realized something was bothering me because her annoyed attitude transformed to concern. "Bella are you ok?" she asked me with a heavy amount of worry in her voice. I swallowed back the tears and cleared my head of everything Cullen.

"Yea I am fine. You just remind me of someone back home that I miss." I told her. She smiled and then continued with her rambling.

I was studying for a quiz in my apartment when I heard a loud bang on my door. I closed my book and walked towards the annoying repetitive beating sound.

"I'm coming… hold on" I yelled. I looked through my tiny peephole to see a very excited looking Amy. She was bouncing up and down like a kid on Christmas. I fidgeted with the lock on the door and swung it open to see what the fuss was about. Before I could get the door completely open she started telling me what her excitement was about.

"Bella guess who got invited to the biggest beginning of year party?" She asked while still bouncing up and down. I was going to give her a smart ass answer like "Santa Clause" but she injected my sarcasm before I could utter the words.

"ME!" she squealed as she clapped her hands.

"That's great Amy." I said unenthusiastically. She stopped bouncing and looked at me like I had had just grown another head.

"Well you should be more excited because I get to bring a friend. And guess who that is?" She asked as she pointed to me with a devious smile. .

"Me?" I questioned her.  
"Yep!" She said popping the P.

"Now we have to get ready." She said as she grabbed my hand and led me to my bathroom. Was this girl a long lost relative of Alice Cullen?

The party was loud and packed. It took place at one of the larger fraternity houses off campus. As we entered the house it had a large open living room with a large glass wall looking into the back yard. It reminded me of the Cullen's house back in Forks. I was still looking around the house when Amy aggressively pulled me through the crowd leading me blindly through the house. There was hardly any room to walk as massive amounts of people crowded together either talking, laughing, or dancing. I was about to ask Amy what we were doing when the answer was literally handed to me in a red solo cup, alcohol. As I looked around, it seemed like everyone had a drink in their hand. I had grown up a Police Chief daughter, so I never took part in underage drinking. Well I did have a sip of Renee's wine once on Christmas but that was it. I held the red cup in my hand internally debating what to do. After a confused look from Amy, I decided why the hell not. I was the one who wanted a fresh start, right? A new city, new life, and a new Bella.


	4. Ch 4 The New Guy

I woke up the following morning feeling like a truck ran over me, backed up and then ran over me again. My head was painfully throbbing, my entire body hurt, and I still felt nauseated even though I was sure I had nothing left in my stomach. I had spent the majority of my night lying on my cold tile floor hugging my toilet as I violently emptied my stomach of the massive amounts of alcohol I had consumed. I barely remember the events of the previous night at the party that Amy dragged me to. I completely blamed her for my current state and vowed to never again let her pressure me into anything again. My mind began to wonder to last night.

"Come on Bella. Live a little." She said as she passed me a shot glass filled with a clear liquid. As I held the shot glass I argued internally over what I should do: politely decline or foolishly accept. I had already had two beers and was feeling the effects, so I knew the responsible answer. But as Amy held her shot waiting for me, I knew she wasn't going to let me out of this. So I "clinked" my glass, held my nose, and downed the horrible liquid. It burned as it travels down my esophagus and into my stomach. It tasted awful and I didn't know why people put themselves through this torture. After three more shots or the same clear liquid, I had my answer. I felt awesome!

Too bad that awesome feeling didn't last. I groaned as I slowly sat up in my bed and cradled my pounding head in my hands. I need two Tylenol and water pronto! I stumbled my way into my kitchen to retrieve my two desperately needed items. As I was searching the kitchen high and low for Tylenol, I heard my phone ring. I forgot about the Tylenol and quickly searched for my phone. I had a text message from an unknown number.

_Hey Bella, I had really fun last night. Are we still going to dinner Friday night? -Chris_

What? I was extremely confused as I read and reread the text message. My brain was not working at full capacity this morning. Maybe it was a wrong number… no couldn't be they said my name. I thought for a moment. Then it hit me… I gasped!Oh my god, what happened last night? Who was this Chris guy texting me? And how did he get my number? And why was he under the impression we were going to dinner on Friday? Screw the Tylenol; I needed to find Amy now!

"What the hell happened last night?" I frantically asked her as I opened the door to her apartment. I knew where she hid her spare key and I rudely let myself in. I didn't even bother knocking. I did not have time for manners this morning. I scanned her small apartment but found no one. Then I heard a muffled sound coming from her bedroom. I found her face down in her bed. I repeated my question with hint of irritation.

"What are you talking about Bella? What are you doing here at 7:00am?" She asked me with a half asleep tone. She flipped over, yawned, and rubbed her eyes as she waited for my reply.

"Why is a guy named Chris texting me about dinner on Friday?" I shot back at her. As my questions sunk in, Amy finally realized what I was asking. She sat up as she began to speak.

"After we took the last shot of Grey Goose, Chris came over and started talking to you. He was eyeing you all night. So, I left to give you guys some privacy. Then next thing I know you stumbled your way back over to me and tell me you were going on a date with Chris on Friday." She informed me.

I stared at her dumbfounded. I would never agree to going on a date with some random guy that I just met. I was a reasonable and responsible girl… and this was just not something I would do. While I was processing everything, Amy asked me, "Bella do you remember anything from last night?"

Her question broke me from my trance. I tried to remember the events of last night but everything seems so fuzzy. So I thought of the last thing I remembered… I remembered Amy dragging me to the party, the crowd, loud music, beer, the shots…. and… and… nothing. I thought long and hard… but still nothing.

"Oh my God Amy, I don't remember any of this. Why would you leave me alone with a guy when you knew I was drunk! God knows what happened" I screamed at her as I covered my head with my hands.

"I don't know Bella. I thought you might like to go out with a guy, have dinner or go to a movie. Get laid so you could pull out that stick that is stuck up your ass." She venomously replied. I was surprised by her reply because the thought of doing those things with another guy other than Edward pulled at the hole in my heart. I immediately became angry for her assumption of what I needed.

"You wouldn't know the first thing about what I would and wouldn't like." I screamed at her as tears came pouring down my cheeks. I turned and left. I barely made it to my car before I broke down in sobs. After a few minutes of sitting in the privacy of my car, the tears finally began to lessen and I was able to collect myself. Why did I react so badly? I was trying to move on right? It's been almost a year since Ed…Edward left so why couldn't I go out with a guy? I sighed knowing I would have to take this step someday.

After I apologized to Amy, I explained my freak out as best I could without going into too much detail. She told me that going out might be the best thing to help me get over my "ex". So I hesitantly agreed to go out with this Chris guy as long as Amy and a date came with us. There was no way I was doing this alone. It was official I had a date this Friday with Chris, the new guy.


	5. Ch 5 The Date

Chapter 5 The Date

Bella POV

Friday came all too quickly. Everything came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks as I stared at myself in my bathroom mirror. I was going out on a date with a guy that was not Edward Cullen. It stung a little. I was never really interest in dating before I met Edward and when Edward and I were dating I never wanted to be with anyone other than him. So it was a little hard actually going through with this. But I needed to give it a try for my own well being. I didn't want to love anyone but Edward but I also didn't want to be the old lady with 20 cats living all alone. So here I was trying my best to make myself look presentable.

"Bella, are you ready?" Amy asked through my bathroom door. She came over to make sure I dress appropriately for our double date.

"Yes." I replied as I opened the bathroom door.

"Ok good because they will be here any minute" She stated. As if on cue the door bell to my apartment rang. My heart rate increase and I felt a little sick to my stomach. Amy ran to the door to great our male escorts for the evening. I exited my bedroom and slowly proceeded to the front door. When I saw Chris I was immediately met with small flashes of memories from the night we met at the party. I remembered his piercing blue eyes and bits and pieces of our conversation. Well there was no turning back now. I took a big breath and stepped forward.

"Hey Bella." Chris said shyly.

"Hi Chris." I replied with a small smile.

The date was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. We had dinner at a nice restaurant and then went to see a movie afterwards. Chris was the perfect gentleman and was a pretty nice guy. Amy's date, Scott, was really funny and had us all laughing majority of the time. I actually had a good time. But all the fun came to a screeching halt as Chris walked me to my apartment door. We had already dropped off Amy and Scott at Amy's apartment so it was just Chris and I. I had been dreading this part of the night since we dropped off Amy and Scott. I fumbled for my keys in my bag as I reached my apartment door praying the whole time that tonight was going to end with a simple hand shake.

"I had a really good time tonight Bella." Chris softly said from behind me. He was much closer to me than I realized and it startled me. I turned around to only be inches away from his blue eyes. His closeness shook me a little.

"I did to" I quickly replied as I stepped back a step.

"I hope that we can do it again" he suggested. I stared at him for a moment internally debating my answer. I didn't want to hurt Chris but I didn't know if I was ready for a second date. When I didn't answer Chris took a step closer to me. Unfortunately when I took my step back from him earlier it put me up against the door. So I was trapped. He put on of his arms above my head and leaned on the door. He was so close to me know I literally couldn't move.

"Bella, I really like you and would love to take you out again" he whispered.

I was on the verge of a panic attack. I couldn't move and I had a sneaky feeling what was coming next. Before I could answer Chris's lips were on mine too confirm my suspicion. At first I was in shock and was frozen like a statue as Chris devoured my lips. As the kiss continued, I found myself becoming less rigid and even leaning into the kiss. Kissing Chris was so much different than kissing Edward. Chris's lips were so warm and soft and moved with mine as an equal. I got lose in the kiss and found it hard to stop.

"Sure" I said to Chris. He was still leaning over me with his eyes closed. He opened his eyes and backed away. He had a slight smug look on his face as he nodded his head. I had to smile a little.

We said our goodnights and Chris left. I walked into my apartment and closed the door. I stood there for a moment rethinking what had just happened. I slowly slide down the door as tears slide down my cheeks. I felt so guilty! Even though Edward made it clear that he didn't want me anymore, it hurt just the same. I had enjoyed the kiss with Chris but I still loved Edward more than anything in the world. I didn't feel right kissing another guy while I was still so in love with Edward. I felt like I had betrayed him somehow. Was it ok that I enjoyed the kiss from Chris? I mean I was trying to move on… right? God why did it hurt so bad? Why did Edward Cullen have such a hold on my heart that even when he didn't want it he still possessed it? I sat on my floor leaning against my front door crying until I was so exhausted that I couldn't even find the energy to walk to my bedroom. I crawled to the sofa to cry myself to sleep.

I awoke then next morning with a very sore back and a really puffy face. Crying all night and a really old sofa does not make for a good night sleep. Despite the fact that I got over 8 hours of sleep I still felt totally exhausted. I dragged myself off the sofa and absent mindedly stumbled towards my bathroom to take a much needed shower. I was not surprised that I had received a new text message while showering. I figured it was Amy wanting to inform me of her juicy details of her night with Scott. As I grabbed my phone I realized that the text was not sent by Amy. I was _not_ expecting a text from Chris.


	6. Ch 6 Birthday

I finally felt like I was really starting to move forward with my life. I was living in a new city, making new friends, and slowly mending the edges of the painful whole in my chest that Edward Cullen caused. Chris and I had gone out several times since our first date; many with Amy and her flavor of the week guy and a few times alone. I was really starting to grow fond of Chris. He was a wonderful guy, a perfect gentleman, and very easy on the eyes. As painful as it was, it was hard _not_ to like Chris and I felt a great deal of betrayal for my fondness. But this was just another bridge to cross in my journey in getting over Edward.

Before I knew it I had been at school for over a month and I was doing great. However, my progress was about to be set back more than I could ever imagine. I knew this day would come but over the past year chose not to acknowledge the fact that I would someday have to face my birthday again. I woke up on September 13 with a very heavy heart. I wanted nothing more than to stay in bed, pull the covers over my head and sleep the day away. Charlie was the first person to be brave enough to wish me a happy birthday.

Apparently Amy and Chris had both found out today was my birthday from my father. I will have to remember to properly thank Charlie for telling them the next time I see him. Maybe I could burn his dinner when I visit to show him my gratitude. Overlooking my demands to stay home, Amy and Chris planned an evening out to celebrate my birthday. I had no clue as to how I was going to withstand the evening without totally embarrassing myself in front of my friends. This day held so many awful memories that I felt like I was going to drown in them tonight. I decided I needed a drink to help numb my senses before we departed to celebrate my horrendous birthday. As the night progressed my one drink turned into several. I found that the alcohol help deaden my emotions and allowed me to have a somewhat of a normal evening. Instead of drowning in memories, I was going to drown them.

Chris helped me stumble up to my apartment after dropping off an equally drunk Amy at her doorstep. As we approached my door, I figured our night would end much the same as all the other nights: a long sweet kiss before biding the other a goodnight. However this night was different. This goodnight kiss started out the same as any other kiss we had shared but soon developed into something much more. Chris leaned into the kiss more causing me to step back and become wedged between Chris and my front door. Chris's hands wound their way around my body and he pressed himself up against me in the most delicious way. Without even thinking or realizing what I was doing I was melting into Chris's embrace and throwing myself into the kiss. Our kisses became frantic and urgent and our hands began to wonder to new places. My body had a mind of its own. Before I knew what we were doing, Chris and I had blindly made our way from my front door to my bedroom without breaking our hold on one another. Internally I was screaming at myself to stop but something else, probably the massive amounts of alcohol I had consumed, was telling me to keep going. At the time I thought this was a perfect idea. Erase the bad memories from my past birthday with a new more positive memory. My fingers made their way to Chris's shirt.

"Bella are you sure" Chris breathily asked between kisses.

"Yes" I slurred into his mouth. My fingers continued with their mission of undressing Chris. After Chris's shirt was finally off, his hands made their way under my blouse to slowly pull it over my head and discard it on the floor. He began kissing my collar bone as his hands travelled down to my hips to pull me back to him. Sober I would have been appalled to be pressed up flush against a half naked guy in full make out session, but drunk I could not have felt more alive.

"Bella… if you want to stop" Chris said as he ran his nose from my collar bone to my ear breathing me in. It reminded me of Edward and how he "resisted the wine but appreciated the bouquet" when referring to the scent of my blood. He would breathe me in deeply and sigh heavily at my intoxicating sent. My mind began wondering to Edward.

"I don't want to stop." I whispered as my mind continued to fantasy about my vampire. Chris began moving us towards my bed while he continued to devour my mouth. He gently laid me down and crawled to hover over me. He assaulted my lips again while exploring my body with his hands. Chris's soft, warm hands became cold stone ones and his lips became icy and hard. Edward's hand slipped down to my waist band and slowly removed my pants. His hands traveled back up my now bare legs slowly caressing each curve and bend as he made his way up towards my inner thigh.

"Oh Edward" I moaned. Edward immediately stopped and looked at me.

"Who did you call me?" Chris voice asked. His voice woke me from my fantasy as dream Edward disappeared only leaving a puzzled Chris hovering above me. His words instantly sobered me up and I came to my senses. I was lying in my bed almost completely naked with a guy I have only known for a short amount of time. I was about to give him something that I swore I would only share with Edward. I was so stupid to think that I could do this. I was so stupid to think I could forget. It all became too much and I freaked out.

"Get out" I stated as my panic consumed me and I started shaking uncontrollably. Chris stared at me with so much confusion on his face I almost felt bad for him. But his lack of movement only irritated me further and fueled my panic state.

"GET OUT!" I screamed at him. I clutched my covers to me in attempt to conceal my already exposed naked body and attempt to stop my trembling. Chris frantically got up and searched for his clothes. I turned my head as tears spilled over my eyelids and ran down my cheeks. I was trying so hard not to lose it in from of Chris. After pulling on his jeans he stopped at my bedroom door.

"Bella I am so sorry if I did…" He said to me but I cut him off before he could finish his sentence.

"Please just leave" I said with tears in my voice. I felt like everything was closing in on me. I was so relieved when I heard the front door close. I allowed the pain I had been trying so desperately to hide for the past year to consume me once more.


End file.
